Career: Self-Leadership & 3 Key Variables

You, Your Boss, Your Organization

Shortly after my 27th birthday I landed the ideal job following graduate school: Director of PR for a college in New Jersey. I reported directly to the President, participated in the Board of Trustees meetings, and had lots of visibility in the media.

I felt dead inside at the end of the first year. But why? I had "made" it.

What Was I Trying To Change?

I wanted my boss--a good guy and a good President--to manage me a little differently. He didn't.

I wanted my initiatives to move through the organization faster. They didn't.

At the end of the second year I resigned on good terms and took an overseas assignment doing management training while living and working in the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Jetting from country to country, running workshops, developing managers, designing programs--almost every day was a peak experience.

When I returned to the US two years later I was recruited by a Fortune 50 company. More responsibility. Broader organizational development assignments. Good salary.

But I wanted my boss to manage me a little differently. He didn't.

And I wanted my initiatives to move through the organization faster. They didn't.

So I left on good terms and started by own consulting, training, and speaking practice. I'm still at it.

What really changed?

Me. It's the only thing I had the power to change. I was forced to evaluate what I wanted, why I wanted it, who I was and, more importantly, who I wasn't. . .and then take a leap of faith that it would work. It did.  And  my  last employer became a client for nearly 20 years.

What are you trying to change?

If it's your boss or your organization--and you like both--it's worth investing in a conversation to see if you can change your circumstances.

But the one place where you are assured the most impact--and influence--is you.

Are you willing to do that today? It could transform the rest of your life.

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Quote of the day, courtesy of the meteorologist at WNEP TV in Scranton, PA:

"Rain will begin at onset of precipitation." 

Duh.

 Thanks to our marketing Diva, Darlene Hill at GraphX Evolution for passing that along during our morning Skype conference.

How Many Choices Do You Really Want?

The rallying cry of sales reps, product managers and politicians is "Choices! We offer choices!"

My observation? 

We really don’t like having too many choices. It makes us a little nervous. Every option leads to a chance to foul something up. Heck, a lot of people are more worried about not being wrong than about being right. So, we allow our experiences and habits to narrow our options to just a couple of familiar ones. It reduces the anxiety and relieves stress.

So, how do you make genuine changes faced with the siren song of habits?

The first move is to re-capture your sense of conscious choice in place of habitual reactions.  This leads to new options and frees you up from repeating the mistakes that have risen from repetition.

Be aware: it's not a single event, but a way of life.

More Good Options Than You Think!

You can choose how to respond, regardless of the situation and circumstances. Here are some possibilities that can change your world today. None of the options is confusing and you have permission to pick just one to get started:

• Don’t take yourself too seriously. Try something new and different, and don't worry about getting it wrong. People who never made a mistake never made anything else.

• Caught up in your emotions? Over-enthusiasm, revenge, or frustration will each whisper lousy advice in your ear. Wait until they stop talking, chill out, and re-visit the decision.

• Listen longer before you respond to someone, at work or at home. The other person will feel more respected and you're just liable to see something from their viewpoint--in which case, you may end up in agreement. At the least, you'll learn something new.

• Eschew snap judgments. It's easy to take a stand; the workplace smiles upon "strong"people. But when it comes to who is right and who is wrong, a knee-jerk reaction can wreck relationships. Besides, do you like it when someone makes a judgment about you?

• Stop the self-talk about what you can’t do. Once you start doing that, you'll make it come true. Give your idea a try and see what happens. If it doesn't work, so what? Really. So what? If it does work, think about how you'll feel.

Now there's only one option: Will you choose to try doing something differently?"

Persuasion and Sales: Sure You Can

You've heard it:

"I could never be in sales."

Monitor your conversations for a day. How often are your really trying to convince someone to see things your way?

For some reason it's OK to persuade but icky to sell. (You might change your mind about the sales thing if you looked into the financial compensation of successful sales people).

 Let's Talk Persuasion: 3 Different Ways

We frequently use proprietary assessments to help people clarify their talents. One of the things we've discovered is that there are three unique ways people can be gifted at persuasion:

1. Negotiating. This is an above-average ability to discern the needs and desires of two people--or groups--and orchestrate agreement between them.

If this is a talent of yours, people will see you actively seeking to assist people in conflict. Those with this talent can quickly garner the credibility needed to help resolve issues.

Do you inherently "jump in" when you see the need for resolution? Are you successful more often than not?

2. Selling. This is just what it implies. People with this specific talent excel at introducing a product or concept and then going for "the close," whether it's money or a commitment.

Are you always thinking about better ways to get a commitment. . .now?!

3. Promoting. Think about someone whose enthusiasm and excitement is infectious. As a result, with multiple exposures and relationship, other people are willing to try out a new idea and look at new ways of seeing things.

The "close" is a fait accompli. There's no reason to say  "will that be cash or charge?" The organic nature of the process leads to implementation or closure.

Do people accept your ideas because of your genuine enthusiasm and willingness to spread your enthusiasm over a period of time? Do you view yourself as an educator who brings about change?

One of these is your persuasive talent

Acknowledge it, learn more about it, use it often, and don't let anyone talk you into doing it differently.

The world and the workplace need to be influenced by people with sound ideas, positive motives, and ways of communicating that don't force some sort of "acting."

How will you exercise your persuasive talent today?

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Leadership, Stamina, and Heart

The cheetah survives on the African plains by running down its prey and can sprint 70 miles per hour. But, according to the TV documentary I was watching, the cheetah can't sustain that pace for long. Inside its long, sleek body is a disproportionately small heart. This causes the cheetah to tire out quickly. Unless the speedster catches its prey on the first try, it has to abandon the chase. 

Sometimes we approach leadership the same way. We zoom into projects with unbridled energy. But lacking energy for sustained effort, we fizzle out before we finish. We garner more resources, try new strategies, cut costs, manage the metrics, and vow to start faster and run harder.

What we need may not be more speed, but more staying power--stamina that comes only from having a bigger heart.

Leadership Bonus: Check out a broad array of tips and advice at the Leadership Development Carnival, graciously hosted this month by Jesse Lyn Stoner.