The Key Habits of Organization

By Leo Babauta

A trusted organization system that you actually use regularly can turn your day from one of chaos to one of focus, effectiveness and calm.

This is something I’ve learned through repeated failures, actually: when I become loose with my organized habits, my day becomes worse. It gets stressful and crazy, and I can’t focus on anything. Everything is on my head all the time, and I’m always worried that I’m missing something, that I should be doing something else.

But when I get my system down, and the habits are on track, things are smooth, I feel good about what I’m doing, and I’m much better able to let everything else go and focus on what’s in front of me, confident that everything else is in its place.

I’ll show you my system in a minute, but first let’s talk about what a good organizational system does and how it works.

Why Form the Habits of Organization

Several important reasons:

1. Stress: An excess of stress very negatively affects your health. If you have good habits in place to deal with all the stuff in your life, you stress out about everything less. You feel less worry that things are slipping through the cracks. You feel trust that you are OK working on what’s in front of you.
2. Effectiveness: If you are able to externalize all the things you’re worried about into a trusted system, you can better focus on the task in front of you. You can single-task, and be more effective at each task, because it’s getting your full focus.
3. Relationships: I’ve found relationships to be about the most important thing in my life, personal but also business. And the best way to build relationships is to be trustworthy. And the best way to be trustworthy is to keep your commitments. If you’re organized, you are more likely to keep your commitments. Organizaton is largely about managing your commitments.

Building a Trusted System

So what does a trusted system look like? Honestly, there are a million tools and combinations of tools you might use, but there are a few things that are important in building a trusted system:

• You find a place for everything â€" todos, passwords, appointments, repeating tasks, incoming info and requests, other info you need to store, documents, receipts.
• You actually use the system and put things where they belong, as soon as you can (see next section, for the habits).
• You recognize when things are sitting in your inbox or open browser tabs or computer desktop, and find a place for them.

With that said, here’s my current system (it changes over time) … just note that you don’t need to use my system, and there are lots of great tools for each type of item:

1. Incoming: Most of my incoming requests, tasks, info, and appointments come in through Gmail. Sometimes through other channels, but 90% of the time through Gmail. When I check Gmail, I try to take each thing out of Gmail and put it where it belongs â€" in one of the tools below.
2. Todos: Lately I’ve been using Trello. I stole this system from Ryan Carson of Treehouse: Create a tasks board in Trello, with lists for Most Important (my family, writing, reading, fitness, mindfulness), Today (includes appointments and tasks), Incoming (for things I haven’t placed yet), This Week (move tasks from here to Today each day), Later (move tasks from here to This Week as needed), Done (move things I finish here), and Waiting On (for things I’ve requested but haven’t received yet). Each morning I review this for 20 minutes, moving things as needed to the right places, so I know everything is in its place.
3. Other Work & Personal Info: I’ve been using Workflowy, which is a cool web app (with an iPhone app too) that allows you to store just about all the info in your life in one place. I used to put everything in Google Docs, but now I just dump it in Workflowy and it’s all together and searchable.
4. Passwords & secure info: I use 1Password, which not only stores (and generates) passwords, but bank info, credit cards, passport info, airline frequent flier numbers, and pretty much everything else I might need to remember.
5. Timed or repeating items: Google Calendar. Whenever I need to do something regularly, I create a recurring appointment in GCal. Reviewing my idea list (stored in Workflowy) twice a month, for example.
6. Receipts, financial docs, drafts, tickets: I’ve set up folders in Dropbox for these things â€" files which don’t fit into the other buckets.
7. Things to read later: If I have a tab open to read later, I put it into Instapaper, and open Instapaper when I have time to read.

That’s pretty much everything. What’s important is that everything has a place, and I know exactly where that place is.

Building the Organized Habits

Of course, it won’t be a trusted system unless you actually use it â€" there’s the rub. We often forget to use our system because we have old habits that don’t die easily.

Luckily, we can replace the old habits with better ones, with practice. It takes about a week of very conscious effort to do this, and after that it gets more and more automatic.

Here are the habits:

1. Create a place for everything. I showed how you might do that above, but find whatever tools work for you. The habit, though, is noticing when something is sitting in your inbox or in an open browser tab or somewhere else, not in its place. And then finding a place for it â€" sometimes that means consciously designating a new bucket just for that type of thing.
2. Don’t procrastinate â€" put it away immediately: The old habit is to put it off (procrastinate) to be put away later. No. That procrastination is what leads to the system falling apart. For one week, make a very conscious effort to not put this off, but instead to take a few seconds to put information, tasks, appointments and other such things right where they belong, right now. It doesn’t take long, but you have to be very conscious about it at first.
3. Don’t live in the inbox: We have a tendency to keep the inbox open, or to open it often. That means you’re constantly responding, instead of focusing. Instead, open the inbox, and one by one, put incoming items where they belong, and archive them in your inbox. You might not get to the bottom of the list, but you save yourself from having to contstantly look through the same things in your inbox over and over.
4. Review the system every morning: Make it a habit to review your task list and calendar every morning for 20 minutes (set a timer), so you know things are in their place. Move things from the Today list to Done, from This Week to Today, from Later to This Week, from Incoming to the appropriate list, and so on. Put calendar items on the Today list. Know where everything is. Then get out and start doing.

With these four habits, and a trusted system, you can now relax, and focus.

The Sea Change Get Organized Module

If you’d like help forming the habits of organization, in July we’ll be doing a new module in my Sea Change Program called Get Organized.

Sign up today to join us, and get a simple plan and some accountability.

I Failed

By Leo Babauta

It’s a feeling deep within your heart, one you try to ignore, of heaviness. Of dread and discouragement. Of sadness and guilt and collapse.

I feel this heaviness in my chest when I fail.

It can make me feel like crying. I feel lonely and I want to give up. I want to fall on a bed and shut out the world. But that doesn’t work, because the feeling follows me into bed, and actually intensifies until finally I have to get out of bed to try to escape it.

Failure can hurt.

People get this idea about me, that I am successful and disciplined and gurulike. I’m successful at life, but not in the way people imagine. I’m not disciplined. I’m certainly no guru. I fail, all the time, and the heaviness can come in small doses or big waves, unpredictably.

What do I fail at? Let me count the ways:

• My diet â€" I eat healthy most of the time, but I overeat when there’s an abundance of yummy food in front of me. I mostly remove that food from my life, but I can’t avoid social situations where the food is right there. When I overeat, I feel fat and bloated and bad about myself.
• Procrastination â€" I’m actually much better at beating procrastination than I used to be, but sometimes I put off things I don’t feel like doing, for days. I’ve figured out this is because the task has a lot of barriers to actually starting, like needing certain conditions or information that I don’t immediately have.
• Mindful parenting â€" I’ve made a lot of progress in being a more patient, compassionate father, but there are times when I snap and lose my temper. It’s not horrible, just not great. I always feel bad when I get mad at the kids.
• Expectations â€" while I’m much better at holding loosely to my expectations, I still have them, and still feel frustrated/disappointed when people or situations don’t meet them.
• Simplicity â€" I’m not as minimalist as I once was. I still have far, far less than most people, but I allow myself to buy things more than before. Also, I now have an iPhone â€" it was a Father’s Day gift from Eva. I resisted getting one for 6 years, and now am one of the masses.
• Internet â€" I use the Internet for work, play, reading, learning, etc. I’m on it more than I should be, and sit too much (though I’m pretty active compared to the average person).
• Learning â€" I dropped learning languages and programming and other things like this, mostly because I’ve found I just don’t have enough time to seriously learn stuff and still do the other things that are important to me.
• Yoga â€" I really need some flexibility, and love yoga because it’s meditation and flexibility and a workout all rolled into one. I have not consistently done yoga despite being challenged by my friend Jesse.

I failed at all these things and more.

What Can Be Done

What can you do when you have the heavy feeling of failure in your heart? It’s not always so easy.

The answer, of course, is action. That’s not always easy because when you have the heavy feeling, you don’t feel like taking action.

You take the action anyway. You take it because you know if you don’t, you feel worse, and eventually your life degrades to the point where you don’t respect yourself anymore. You take the action anyway.

Here’s what I do:

• I take a breath. It’s not the end of the world to fail. I just need some space, some distance. I need to see the problem in perspective. When I do, I realize that the failure is pretty minor in the grand scheme of my life, in the grand scheme of the world of lives around me.
• I reframe the failure. Someone once said there isn’t failure, only feedback. That means the failure is just a point of information, a part of the learning process. I like to say, it’s not a failure of me as a person, just a failure of my method. Which means I need to change my method.
• I change the method. If the way I was doing it didn’t work, I need to find a new way. What can I do differently? In some of the cases above, I added some accountability, asked people for help, or looked for inspiration. In some of the other cases, I haven’t changed the method yet, to be honest.
• I take the first step. The problem can be overwhelming, because quite frankly we can’t solve any of this stuff overnight, or even in a few days. We can, however, take one step, right now. One tiny step. And that’s all that matters.

Take one step. Any step.

It lightens the heart. It shows you that things aren’t insurmountable or impossible. It starts to dissolve the discouragement and sadness and pain.

The single step you take today is the antidote to the soul-tearing effects of failure. It helps me, every day.

Vegan Guide to San Francisco

By Leo Babauta

San Francisco is my favorite city in the world, and living here has helped me become fully vegan (Eva too, as of last year!).

I thought I’d share a (non-comprehensive) list of places to try for fellow vegans visiting the city. It’s the result of my exploration of many places, good and great, which has been admittedly a lot of fun.

You won’t get to all of these, so I’ve marked my favorites.

All-Vegan Spots

Restaurants with only vegan food:

1. Millenium: An absolute favorite, and a must-try for any vegan new to San Francisco. It’s gourmet vegan food, imaginative combinations of flavors and textures. A bit dressier than most of the places on this list, it’s a date-night type joint. In addition to an amazing food menu, they have excellent wines and cocktails. [fave]
2. Gracias Madre: My other favorite vegan place in the city (along with Millenium), it’s Eva’s top spot. It’s organic vegan Mexican, but different than any other Mexican food you’ve probably tried. Healthy, delicious, unique, everything is sustainably farmed (often on their own farm). Save some room for the dessert â€" I recommend the Mexican chocolate cake & toasted coconut ice cream (unless it’s the holiday season, in which case they’ll likely have the pumpkin spice cake â€" get that!). [fave]
3. Herbivore: With three locations (Valencia, Divisadero, and Berkeley), this is a go-to spot for vegan families (there’s something on the menu for everyone), vegan brunch, and a quick and tasty bite. There are some good healthy options here (salads, green juice), and some tasty but less-healthy options (try the grilled seitan deluxe schwarma), and everything in between.
4. Cha-Ya Japanese: If you’re craving some vegan Japanese, look no further. It’s inexpensive, cooked in the Zen tradition, and pretty tasty.
5. Pepple’s Donuts: These guys are actually located in Oakland, but they have a stand at the Ferry Building (which is great for foodies and has a great farmer’s market on Tues, Thurs and Sat). Delicious with lots of great flavors. Also available in a bunch of grocery stores around the city.
6. Loving Hut: With locations near Powell Station (in the Westfield food court), Chinatown and Sunset neighborhood, this is pretty yummy vegan fast food. You might know them already as they’re all over the world, and if you’ve been to a couple of them, you’ll know that they won’t knock your socks off, but they’re a great choice for a quick vegan lunch as you’re out sightseeing.

All-Vegetarian Spots

These restaurants serve no meat and are great places for vegans:

1. Greens: Come here for dinner at sunset and enjoy the view of the water. Gourmet vegetarian â€" one of the first in the country, and owned by San Francisco Zen Center. Lots of vegan options, tell them you’re vegan and they’ll treat you right. So yummy. [fave]
2. Rainbow Grocery: [fave]
3. Source: An amazing variety of vegetarian food (almost all is vegan) â€" it’s like a new-Age diner, with Philly Cheese Moos (moos are their beef replacement, clucks are duck replacement, bow-wows are vegan hot dogs, etc.) and pizza and even vegan Twinkies. Go here ready to oink out.
4. Thai Idea Vegetarian: Who doesn’t love Thai food? Now you can love it and not be worried about animal products. Pretty much everything on the menu is vegan, and it’s delicious. Nuff said.
5. Udupi Palace: We went here and ordered way too much food, because it’s all so good. It’s South Indian food, all vegetarian (dairy in some dishes, so ask if you want vegan-only), spicy and yummy. Get the dosas.
6. Ananda Fuara: This is a funky, cult-like place, but it’s downtown where there aren’t many vegan places, and actually the food is pretty decent. I really like the chocolate cake.
7. Vegetarian Chinese: There are three places with vegetarian Chinese food if you’re in the mood for some General Tso veg chicken or crispy spring rolls â€" Golden Era Vegetarian Restaurant, Enjoy Vegetarian Restaurant (with three locations), Lucky Creation Vegetarian Restaurant. My kids love this stuff.
8. Donna’s Tamales: Vegetarian and vegan tomales, found at the Ferry Plaza Farmer’s Market and various grocery stores (see their site for more info).

Vegan-Friendly

You’ll find a ton of places in San Francisco that are vegan friendly (almost every place but steakhouses), but here are some that I like:

• Samovar Tea Lounge: Highly recommended for the artisan tea, you’ll be very happy with the vegan food options. My favorite is the Tempeh Maki Bowl, but also try the TLT sandwich or the lentil curry. Three locations, downtown, Hayes Valley and Mission/Castro. [fave]
• Plant Cafe: Many veg options, I like the tempeh and the Wasabi Plant Burger. Mmmm. A great option if you’re in the Fisherman’s Wharf/Embarcadero area. [fave]
• Underdog: Hiking around Golden Gate Park and feel like a veggie dog with organic sauerkraut? Of course! Go to Underdog, a tiny spot where they have beef but also veggie dogs and some other tasty vegan options.
• Minako Organic Japanese: Small but good Japanese restaurant in the middle of the hip Mission District, with lots of vegan options. Just ask!
• Papalote Mexican Grill: One of many taquerias in the Mission, this one probably has the most vegan options â€" soyrizo or tofu or grilled veggie burritos, for example.
• Little Chihuahua: Get the fried plantain & black bean burrito. With three locations.
• Paxti’s: Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, with some good vegan options. With a bunch of locations in the Bay Area.
• Berretta: Go here if you like artisan cocktails â€" some of the best in the city. And if you’re hungry, there’s Neapolitan pizza with vegan cheese.
• Mission Pie: Wonderful pies, down-to-earth cafe in the middle of the Mission. One vegan pie option every day.
• Ike’s Place: Insanely popular sandwich spot, with some great vegetarian and vegan options (and omnivore). Takeout only, order ahead for pickup so you can skip some of the crazy lines.
• Roam Artisan Burger: Super high-quality burger spot, including great house-made veggie burgers. Also get the sweet potato fries, milkshakes, and beer.

East Bay Vegan Spots

Some great places in Berkeley and Oakland (not a complete list):

1. Cinnaholic: Insane vegan cinnamon rolls with great toppings! Must-try if you have a sweet tooth and are near Berkeley. My kids adore this place. [fave]
2. Encuentro Cafe & Wine Bar: Great vegetarian/vegan food, and wine â€" need I say more? Great for a date night near the Jack London Square area of Oakland. [fave]
3. Cafe Gratitude: I was sad when the SF location of Gratitude closed, but you can still hit them up in Berkeley. Hippy feel, half raw and half cooked vegan menu. Try the Gratitude Bowl, among others. [fave]
4. Flacos: Tiny little vegan taco shop in Berkeley, my mouth waters thinking about their food.
5. Timeless Coffee: Hip coffee shop in Oakland, all their coffee & great pastries are vegan!

A Vegan Sightseeing Tour of SF

OK, let’s put my faves together with my favorite spots in San Francisco into a 2-day highlights tour. Warning: It’s not necessarily the healthiest of tours, but you’ll burn it off exploring the city! Map out this stuff before you come to SF.

Day 1

• Breakfast: Go to the East Bay and have vegan cinnamon rolls at Cinnaholic in Berkeley.
• Twin Peaks: Then drive into SF up to Twin Peaks. Enjoy the amazing view. Don’t just go to the lookout, but actually go on top of at least one of the peaks (2 of the highest peaks in SF).
• Walk the Mission & Castro: Drive down & park somewhere near 18th Street & Valencia, and start walking around. Valencia Street and Mission Street are great places to soak in the feel of the best neighborhood in SF. The colorful Castro neighborhood is nearby, which you can check out after lunch.
• Lunch: Gracias Madre at 18th & Mission. Take your time, enjoy the menu. Get dessert to go for your next stop.
• Hang out in Dolores Park: Walk down 18th Street to Dolores Park (18th & Dolores). If it’s a sunny day, enjoy some relaxation time in Dolores Park, one of the coolest parks in the city. On a sunny afternoon, the scene here is pretty interesting. The view from the corner near 20th & Church is awesome (right near my old house).
• Dinner: Millenium, my favorite vegan spot in the city, not in the nicest of neighborhoods but you’ll get a feel for the Tenderloin here. Make sure to make reservations, preferably a week in advance (not always necessary but it’s better to be safe). Bring an empty stomach. Be sure to order dessert.
• Nighttime strolling: If you still have energy, walk around the Embarcadero and enjoy the lights on the Bay Bridge.

Day 2

• Breakfast: Go to the Ferry Building at Embarcadero, get a couple tasty donuts from Pepple’s, and enjoy with soy Gibraltar at Blue Bottle (it’s off the menu). Also explore the other interesting foodie places in the Ferry Building, and if you plan well, you can catch the farmer’s market outside (Tues, Thurs, and Sat).
• Fun with science: Check out the Exploratorium for an hour.
• Hike & views: If you’re adventurous, hike to the top of Telegraph Hill via the Greenwich Street stairs or the Filbert Street stairs (or go up one and down the other!). Otherwise, drive up and enjoy the view.
• Lunch: Samovar Tea Lounge. Have the Nishi Sencha and the Tumeric Spice teas, and the Tempeh Maki Bowl. Slow down, be present, enjoy the relaxing atmosphere.
• Golden Gate Park: Drive to somewhere near 9th & Irving, and walk into the lovely Golden Gate Park. Check out the Japanese Tea Garden (feel the serenity), and then stroll around Stow Lake. If you have kids, the California Academy of Sciences is a must.
• Dinner: Greens Restaurant on the waterfront. Make reservations ahead of time. Alternatives: the Plant Cafe or Source.

If You Have More Time

Other good ideas: Encuentro in Oakland, Rainbow Grocery if you want to buy some food to cook yourself, the Golden Gate Bridge and trails along the coast in Presidio, Land’s End trails, a house-made veggie burger and sweet potato fries at Roam Artisan Burger, Flacos or Cafe Gratitude in Berkeley.

The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others

By Leo Babauta

One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.

Picture it: you see photos of what someone else is doing on Facebook and think your life isn’t exciting enough. You see someone else who has a cool job and think you’re not doing that great in your career. You see someone with a hotter body, and feel bad about yours. You see someone who has created an awesome business, and think you’re not doing enough. You read about people who are traveling the world, learning languages, going to exotic resorts and restaurants, and wonder why you’re not.

Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy.

It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison â€" why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.

Let’s take an example: I’m out running in the park, and I see someone running past me. Obviously he’s a faster runner, and better than me! Oh, that makes me feel horrible about myself as a runner!

Except I can’t compare myself to that faster runner, because I don’t have all the information. I don’t know:

• how far they’re running (I might be running 12 miles and they’re running 2)
• where they are in their training plan (I might be starting out on my plan, while they’re in week 20)
• where they are in their particular run (I might be warming up, while they’re at the hardest part of their workout)
• how many years they’ve been running (maybe I’ve only started, and they’ve been running for 15 years)
• their injury status (maybe I recently injured an ankle while they’re not injured)
• what event they’re training for (maybe they are training for a mile race, or a bike race, and I’m training for a 50-mile race)
• what else is going on in their lives (maybe they have nothing else going on, while I’ve been working hard, socializing, and moving to a new house and getting little sleep)
• what motivates them (maybe I just like the peace of running mindfully, while they want to beat everyone else on the path)

Given these and a bunch of other factors I don’t know anything about, why would I compare my speed at this moment with the speed of another runner? They’re irrelevant to each other. We just happen to be both running on the same path at the same time, but that’s coincidence, and nothing else is the same.

And even if everything else were exactly the same (would never happen), how would the comparison be useful? It would be meaningless even then.

The only thing I should focus on, as a runner, is myself. Enjoy the run. Learn about myself as I run. Keep going, and in doing so, I’ll get better â€" compared to myself.

And that’s the only thing we should focus on in life â€" enjoy the walk, learn about ourselves, keep taking steps and drop the comparisons. You’ll love the journey even more.

Run with Leo in NYC

On another note, if you’d like to meet up with me (Leo of Zen Habits) while I’m in NYC, I’ll be doing a casual 12-mile training run on Thurs June 27 and would love some company. It’ll be in Manhattan â€" meeting spots to be determined. You can run all or part of it with me if you like, just for fun. If you’re up for it, submit your info on this form.

Run with Leo in NYC

A Secret to Dad Greatness

By Leo Babauta

I have six kids, ages ranging at the moment from 7 to 20. And while I’m not perfect as a father, I have learned a thing or two from my 20 years of service.

I’ve learned to pay attention, to give them space, to accept them for who they are, to be a guide and not a director, to help them through teachable moments, to love reading a book with them, to walk and talk when we have problems, to give hugs when they are in pain and hugs when they experience a triumph, to set limits and then remove the limits when they’re excited about something.

It’s a lot to learn, a lot to tackle at once.

And so I’ve boiled all of this down to one daily practice.

One thing to help you be a great dad.

Appreciate your child’s love for you.

Do this every day, whenever you see your child, and even when they’re not around. This love for you is a gift, and it manifests itself in so many ways: in the way they want your attention, your affection, your approval, your pride in what they do. In wanting to spend time with you. In watching you to see how to live life. In learning from you whenever you talk to them.

This daily practice, of appreciating their love for you, will make your life better. It will help you be the role model they need, because someone who appreciates the love of others is a beacon of gratitude and humility and mindfulness.

And when you appreciate their love for you, you realize that you have a boundless source of happiness in every moment. And you are a boundless source of happiness for them.

No matter what happens, from tantrums to heartbreaks to injuries to rejections, this love is there for you.

I am incredibly grateful for the love of my kids (some of whom aren’t even kids anymore).

They look up to me, and I in turn learn from them. They are funny, and excited, and curious, and affectionate, and fun. I’m lucky to have them in my life, and I wouldn’t be the man I am today without them.

Thank you, my loves.

Habits: A Simple Change in Mindset Changes Everything

By Leo Babauta

One of the best tricks I’ve learned to improve my likelihood of sticking to a habit is so simple it’s sinful.

Stop thinking of a new habit as something you have to do, but as something you are allowed to do.

Let’s say you’re starting a workout. Many people think, “OK, I gotta do this. It’s good for me, I’m way too lazy, I need to burn off my fat, if I do this I’ll feel better about myself.” This is wrong, because then the workout is a chore you have to get through to get the benefits, and so you struggle through this boring, hard, sucky thing in order to get to the goal.

Instead, you can simply think, “I’m allowing myself to do this. It’s a treat.”

And it is. A workout can be a lovely thing, where you feel your body moving, you push against the forces of gravity, you triumph despite the difficulty, you get fresh air and gorgeous nature and you are treating your body and being good to it. This is a rare treat.

Once you shift from “have to” to “allowed to”, you now feel good about the activity. It’s not a chore, but a treat. It’s not something you struggle through to get the benefit â€" it is the benefit.

The Worry That You’re Doing the Wrong Thing Right Now

By Leo Babauta

It’s first thing in your workday, and you open up your email. There’s a host of messages, old and new, asking for your attention. You also open up other inboxes in social media and the like. You quickly go through them and get a picture of what you need to get done right now.

But where do you start?

You begin one task from an email, but then quickly have the urge to see if there’s something else more important you should be doing. And this problem repeats itself â€" every time you sit down with one thing, the dozens of others on your mind (and the many potential urgent items that might be coming in as you sit there) are grasping for your attention.

Is there ever any certainty that you’re doing the right thing right now?

Does the worry that you’re doing the wrong thing ever go away?

This is something I’ve grappled with myself for years â€" I sit down to write (this post, for example), and the nagging feeling from the back of my mind pesters me, asks me to check email or my financial accounts or the calendar or various social media. Quieting this feeling isn’t always easy.

But still I get the important things done (usually). This comes from a small set of steps I take that help keep the forces of worry at bay.

I’ll lay out those steps in a moment â€" for now, let’s talk about where this worry comes from.

The Source of the Worry

Why does this worry come about in the first place? Why can’t we just be confident that this is the exact thing we need to be doing right now? That would be nice.

When we were kids, most of us had someone to tell us what to do. A parent or a teacher, who would give us a chore or assignment, and we knew this was what we should be doing. Of course, it wasn’t always what we wanted to be doing, so there was that. But there wasn’t doubt about what we should be doing, because it was laid out by an authority.

Then came adulthood, where things became not-so-clear. We became the boss of ourselves â€" even if theoretically we have a boss, in reality we have the ability to choose between a bunch of tasks and projects and communication tools, not to mention having to do personal stuff like laundry and cooking the healthy meals that we’re all obviously cooking for ourselves and picking up the kids. We are making choices all day long, with no one to tell us that these choices are correct.

We see other people pounding out the productivity, and imagine them to be rock solid in their choices, always sure they are doing the right task.

I’m here to tell you that this is an illusion. No one is sure, no one is free from the worry.

The worry comes because we want to be doing the perfect thing, and we also want not to mess up. This would be nice: no messing up a project, or our jobs, or that pesky little thing called life.

So we have the desire: not-to-mess-up or do-the-perfect-thing, and we have the fear (worry) that it won’t happen. This dynamic is present in every moment, in everything we do, unsaid and unnoticed most of the time, present only as background noise but also by nagging worry and urges to run to something else.

We can beat it by shining the light of our awareness on it, and digging in our heels against it, and being OK with it being there in the first place.

Steps to Deal with the Worry

OK, Leo, you say to your computer as you read this (I imagine you staring at the screen of a Macintosh Performa 5200) … just tell me what to do to defeat the forces of worry!

Right on:

1. Shine the brilliant light of awareness: Notice the worry as you sit down to do a task, or to contemplate what task to do. It’s there in the background. Turn your attention to it, and just notice it. Don’t fear it, don’t hate it, don’t worry about it. Just notice.
2. Accept it as a friend: It’s always there, and will always be there with you. This worry will go through life with you, much as your consciousness of your own existence does, for as long as your heart shall beat. Don’t fear it, don’t try to kill it. Instead, give it a hug. Embrace it. Accept it. Get used to it. You’re together for the long haul.
3. Welcome it along on an important task: Pick one task to do now. It can be anything, but choose something that feels important to your life and work. Something that you know will help others and yourself. There might be a bunch of them, so just choose quickly on gut instinct. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be the “perfect task”. Notice the worry coming along with you. That’s OK. Put your arm around its shoulder, and go along the path together, happy in your newfound friendship.
4. Set an intention to stick with the task: Before you actually start the task, make an agreement with your friend worry. You’re going to stick with this task, at least for 5 minutes, without switching or following the urge to check other things. For these glorious 5 minutes, you will be sure of one thing: you will do this task, no matter if it’s the perfect task or not. Because actually, my friends, the perfect task doesn’t exist, and the search for it is but a grailquest. Instead, focus on this one task, and be sure you’re going to stick with it.
5. Stick with the task: You probably saw this coming from the last step. The worry will come up â€" notice it, smile, embrace it like that friend you have who’s always doing crazy things, and then … stick with the task. You’ll be fine. It’ll be great, in fact. Triumphant and exultant.

And if you do these steps, you’ll get your task done, and then breathe. And smile. Because you came a long way, and you might have a long way to go, but you’re here. You’ve arrived. And it’s a lovely place to be.

6 Steps To Being More Creative

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Marc Lesser, CEO of SIYLI, Zen priest, and author of Know Yourself, Forget Yourself.

For most of my life I did not think of myself as creative at all. Then, many years ago, I started a greeting card company, despite that I had rarely purchased or sent greetings cards. My motivation was combining business with taking care of the environment, by making products from recycled paper. I found myself in a role where I needed to be very creative â€" in developing new products as well as how to distribute products. I also found that the act of leadership â€" my perspective about my role and the company’s strategy required tremendous creativity.

Creativity is important for many reasons. It is a path and process for not getting stuck in old habits and ineffective ways of seeing yourself and the world. Creativity can help with problem solving, with creating healthier relationships, and with having a healthier and happier life.

What I learned is that creativity isn’t something that you have or don’t have. It is something that you can nurture and develop. Most importantly, creativity can be a practice. This is especially true for me in my current role (as the CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute) of helping business leaders to be both more effective and happy.

Here are the 6 steps that I began using, and find I’m using every day, not only in my work but especially in my relationships and my life outside of work These practices can be used to support the changing of habits and creating new habits. I’d suggest making the practice of creativity a habit that can support other habits. Here are some guidelines:

1. Believe in your creativity â€" This is the first practice and probably most important. You might begin by thinking about or writing down three creative things you’ve done â€" something you have written or said or completed. Notice an area in which you feel creative; perhaps cooking, drawing, fixing things, gardening. Creativity can show itself in lots of small ways, such as the gifts we give, or the clothes we wear, or how we set the table. Just begin noticing and recognizing your own creativity.
2. Know your voice of judgment â€" Everyone I’ve ever known has an inner judge. It can be difficult to accept that having an inner critic is part of the human condition. The good news is that this inner voice just wants to protect us and keep us safe, and that you don’t need to be stuck with or thrown by these inner voices. Knowing this, try relaxing your inner judge. Give it a name. Be playful. Experiment. Despite your judgments, you have the ability to be creative.
3. Pay attention to details â€" By entering into the practice of creativity, you can begin to notice more of the details of everyday life. By paying more attention to details, you can become more present; your world can become more alive. It is in this presence and aliveness that creativity takes place. When you put your shoes on, which shoe do you put on first? What’s the color of your front door? How many emails do you receive and send each day? Or play with giving things different names. Look at a paper clip or a strawberry, as though seeing them for the first time. What might you call them? These types of details and experiments can open doors to seeing the world differently.
4. Ask dumb questions â€" Our desire to look good and smart can get in the way of creativity. Instead, ask questions, especially those that may seem obvious, or even dumb. Risk looking awkward. Be curious about your feelings and your motivations. Let yourself wonder how things work and why you and others talk and act the way you do. Let go of the need to look good, and allow yourself to be curious and at times awkward. This is another door to creativity. There are no dumb questions.
5. Practice Mindfulness â€" Mindfulness is a fancy word for paying attention and for being in the present moment â€" not ruminating about the past, nor worrying about the future. Mindfulness is a simple and powerful practice. Of course, reviewing the past and preparing for the future are important. And, being creative, happens in this moment. The practice of mindfulness is to over and over notice when your mind is wandering and to bring your attention back to the present. In this way we build our capacity for presence, and for creativity. Mindfulness can also mean to allow your attention to open, to consciously not focus on any one thing. This space, of intentionally expanding your attention can be a creative process.
6. Embrace Paradox â€" It seems that nearly everything about being a human being is a paradox. In my own life, I’m an introvert and I enjoy speaking in front of groups; I can be indecisive and make decisions quickly; I’m confident and vulnerable. What are some of your paradoxes? Instead of ignoring or pushing these contradictions away, try acknowledging them, and embracing them. An example of a paradox I find myself embracing and practicing with is â€" fight for change and accept what is. These appear to be completely opposed, yet, the starting point for changing habits is to notice the habits that we actually have.

Being more creative is a practice, a habit, and a process. A good way to begin is to notice how creative babies and young children are. Just the act of crawling, walking, and exploring can be enormously creative. Creativity is easy â€" just let yourself be more childlike, curious, open, and start by exploring any of the six practices I’ve outlined.

Marc Lesser is author of Know Yourself, Forget Yourself: Five Truths To Transform Your Work, Relationships, and Everyday Life. He is the CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI) and leads a weekly meditation group in Mill Valley.

How I Finally Faced My Weight & Debt Problems

By Leo Babauta

There was a time when I was overweight, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t feel in control of my health, because I couldn’t quit smoking or eat healthier for longer than a few days, nor exercise regularly.

Thinking about my weight made me feel horrible, so I didn’t want to even think about it.

Of course, not thinking about it meant I never did anything about it. Not facing my problems made it worse, which just made me feel worse. It was a downward spiral, and really hard to stop.

I had the same downward spiral when I was in debt (at the same time in my life, about 8 years ago). I couldn’t pay all my bills, so I would stuff them in a drawer so I didn’t have to see them. I had creditors calling me but I didn’t answer their calls (I knew their numbers on the caller ID). I didn’t know how much debt I was in because I never wanted to open the envelopes, much less add it all up on paper. I’d borrow money to pay bills, then owe more. And I’d skip paying lots of bills, and accrue interest.

It wasn’t a smart way to manage my finances, but I couldn’t stand the thought of facing all of it. I felt bad even thinking about my finances, so I’d avoid them, and think about other things. Of course, this led to me seeking distraction in food and entertainment and shopping, which led to worse debt.

Not facing my debt made it worse.

How did I overcome all of this? I’ll share it here, in hopes that it will help others facing the same problem â€" or not facing it.

It’s also important to note that if you know someone in bad health (or bad financial shape), they are probably also in denial. They don’t want to even talk about it. How do you help them? I’ll share that below too.

How I Finally Faced Things

So how do you face a problem, so you can work on it, when you don’t want to face it?

There has to be a point when you say, “This isn’t good. I need to do something about it.”

In truth, there usually isn’t just one point â€" there are many. It’s a building problem, where you get many data points over time â€" you see yourself in a picture and don’t like how heavy you look, you get a comment from someone that’s less than flattering, your pants don’t fit anymore, you breathe heavy when you try to run for a couple of minutes.

But then there has to be a point where you decide that enough is enough. You start to feel some resolve. You decide you can do something â€" it’s not insurmountable.

How exactly I got to that point, I can’t fully remember. But I do know that there were several things that helped me:

• Inspiration: Seeing other people with similar situations who overcame the problem â€" in blogs and magazines, mainly.
• Do-ability: I didn’t think I could lose all the weight or overcome my huge mountain of debt in a day or a week … but having a small step I could actually do was mentally empowering. If I could do something in a day or two, that was doable. It felt like I could take control again.
• Motivation: When I saw that my health problems were going to be an example for my kids, I knew I had to make a change. When I saw that my financial problems were hurting my family, I knew I had to make a change. In both cases, my motivation for change was bigger than myself â€" I was doing it to help people I cared about.
• Commitment: When I was inspired by others to make a change, I took an easy step that’s actually a very big step â€" I made a commitment. Making a commitment is actually very easy â€" you can tell a friend, a child, a spouse, or the world (via social media or email) that you’re going to make a change. Commit not just to “losing weight” or “getting out of debt” but to something specific: “run 3x a week and cut out sweets” is better. So is “make a list of all my debts, then make a payment to the first one”. Those are first steps … you can always “add more veggies” or “make a meal plan” after you get started. But making a commitment is an easy (if a bit scary) first step that will lock you in to further steps.

I have to admit that it wasn’t as simple as making a decision to change, and then continually making progress with no discouragements. Not at all. I would try to make a change, slip up, feel bad, then start again. And again. And make adjustments each time, learning about myself in the process, and over time getting good at the skill of change.

But the first step â€" facing the problem â€" was made possible by inspiration, do-ability, motivation and finally commitment.

How to Get Others to Face Their Problems

I firmly believe that you can’t force anyone to change. You can only inspire them to change, if you’re lucky. That’s not an easy task.

If you have a friend or family member who is struggling with health issues, or financial problems, or something similar where they don’t want to face the problem … it’s tough. They probably don’t want to hear it from you.

However, that’s not to say you should throw your hands up and forget about it. You can still help. Just don’t try to force it.

Here’s what I would suggest:

1. Never attack â€" empathize. Never tell the person they’re doing something wrong, or imply they’re a bad or undisciplined or lazy person. Assume that they have the best of intentions, that they would change if they could, but they feel bad about it. Assume that you would feel the same if you were in their position â€" and try to remember a time when you felt that way. Don’t be patronizing, nor “sympathize”. That’s condescending.
2. Inspire. Set an example, and share what’s working for you. Share stories of other people who have overcome problems.
3. Suggest something do-able. And do it with them. If you want them to tackle health issues, suggest the two of you go walking after work every day. Just for 15 minutes (at first). It’s a nice way to socialize and bond, but also get active. This is a small step that can be built upon â€" later you can walk further, or faster, and maybe add some jogging intervals to the walking after a few weeks or months (health permitting). You can also later do some diet challenges. But the key is to make the steps do-able, easy, and social.
4. Offer to be an accountability buddy. If the other person admits to not being motivated, suggest that they commit to you, and be accountable to you (email you every day or every week to share progress or lack thereof). Suggest that they set a fun consequence (something embarrassing) if they don’t live up to their commitment to you. Or do a challenge, where the two of you are doing something fun at the same time â€" a pushup challenge, a thousand-steps challenge, an eat-more-vegetables challenge.

Despite your best efforts, this might not work. You can’t force change on someone. They have to want it themselves. And if they don’t, you can make them want it. In that case, you’ll have to back off, though showing concern and wanting to help is always something you can do.

Change is possible. Facing problems is totally possible. You just might need a little inspiration to do it.

Working with the Obstacles in Your Path

By Leo Babauta

Let’s say you are sitting at your desk, with something to write, and you notice some anxiety, and an urge to go instead to one of your favorite distractions.

And let’s also say you decided to adopt my approach, the Obstacle is the Path.

So the anxiety, and the distraction, are your obstacle … but how do you “work with them” as I advised?

First, you don’t run from the obstacle. So instead of seeing the anxiety as something to be avoided (with distraction and procrastination), see it as the place you go to. Same with the fear of failure, the worry that things will go wrong, the cold fear that comes when you think of quitting your job and starting something new. Anxiety isn’t the worst thing in the world, and is nothing to be feared. It’s just a feeling, and we can survive it. So sit with it.

Second, you accept the feeling. If it’s anxiety, say, “Cool, I’m feeling some anxiety.” Not, “No! I don’t want to be anxious!” The first actually calms the situation down, and allows you to look at it like an observer. The second makes the situation worse, and makes you see the situation as a scared child.

Third, you look at the cause. What is causing your anxiety? Is the writing really such a bad thing? No, actually, it’s not that hard. It’s simply taking the time to think through some thoughts, and then putting them down in writing, and maybe editing that so that it’s clear and makes a bit of sense. The writing itself isn’t giving you the anxiety â€" it’s the fantasy you have of wanting to write something excellent that people will think is good and so they will judge you as competent and smart. And the anxiety comes from the worry that you will fail at this and people will instead judge you as dumb. This fantasy, which isn’t real, is the source of your anxiety.

Fourth, you see that it’s hurting you. You can’t let go of this fantasy, because you want it so much. But take a moment to see its effects â€" it is hurting you. It is causing you suffering. It’s causing you to not do the things you want to do. Be honest about its effects â€" the fantasy isn’t helping, and is definitely hurting.

Fifth, let it go out of compassion. If you’re hurting yourself, and not helping, with this fantasy â€" why hold onto it? What’s so great about it? It’s not real. It’s totally manufactured in your mind. Instead, be compassionate with yourself, and let go of the fantasy. When you let go of this thing you’ve been holding onto, you can feel a sense of relief.

Sixth, then go through the obstacle and be mindful. The obstacle was anxiety. It lessens once you let go of the fantasy. You can now get to writing, and once you do, without fantasies, you can see that it’s not that bad. In fact, if you are mindful in your activity, you can see that it’s kinda alright. Better than that perhaps â€" kinda great. And you almost missed out on it because of your obstacle.

If you go through this six little steps, which aren’t that difficult each step along the way, you’ll not only be able to do the writing (or quit your job or start a new project or have a difficult conversation) … you’ll be better at dealing with similar obstacles in the future. You’ll be stronger, smarter, less afraid.

This is why you should work with the obstacles instead of avoiding them â€" you learn from them.

The Simplify Your Day Challenge in June

By Leo Babauta

Are you up for a 30-day challenge that will make your days simpler, more focused, less stressful?

Starting tomorrow (June 1), my Sea Change Program members are tackling the Simplify Your Day Challenge, and I’m inviting you to join us.

The challenge will be tracked through with Lift, the excellent habit-tracking app on the iPhone … and Lift is now offering early access to the new web version of the app, for Sea Change members. What this means is that having an iPhone is NOT mandatory for using the habit tracker Lift application. When you register for the Sea Change program, you’ll get access to the new web version of Lift.

The Simplify Your Day Challenge is to say “No” to one thing per day.

What kinds of things should you say “No” to? Well, not to the important stuff!

Instead, say “No” to:

• Commitments you can let go
• Appointments that aren’t absolutely essential
• Non-essential to-do items
• Multi-tasking
• Distractions
• Moving quickly
• Doing smaller tasks instead of important tasks

You don’t have to say “No” to all of those every day. In fact, during the challenge, I’ll ask you to focus on a different area each week.

You should do this habit first thing each day, as you start your work day. For some of you, that’s almost immediately after waking (when you open your computer to check email). For others, that’s when you arrive at the office. Whenever you start, make this habit your first action, every day.

If you get good at saying “No” to these things, at least once per day, your day will become simpler. Why? Because you’ll have time for the important things â€" your most important work, creative work, time for exercise and eating healthy and meditating, time for loved ones and for yourself.

The Plan

So what’s the plan for the challenge?

1. Sign up for the Sea Change program to have access to the plan, a live webinar next week, articles and a forum. You’ll also join Lift, which is free, to track the habit.
2. Have a trigger for your habit â€" something you already do every day. Examples: waking up, drinking your first cup of coffee, eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, leaving for work, arriving at work, etc. For this challenge, I suggest whatever trigger happens when you first start work â€" opening your laptop or arriving at the office, for example.
3. Have reminders based on this trigger. The best ones are in the physical place that the trigger happens â€" if it’s your laptop, put a sign on your laptop to remind you. Calendar reminders are good too, but as backups to the physical reminders.
4. Do the habit when your trigger (and reminder) happens. Every day. It only needs to take a minute or two. The plan I’m providing in the Sea Change program will tell you what habit to do each week.
5. Report your success on Lift â€" check-in for that habit, so it’s logged and others can see it. Also encourage others in the challenge with props and encouraging comments.

It’s simple, but you have to commit to the full month if you really want to see it work. I think it’ll be an amazing challenge, and I hope you’ll join us.