Liking Healthy Foods is a Choice

By Leo Babauta

I have a theory that I’ve been testing: whether you have a taste for a particular food is a choice.

I’m sure there are things you turn your nose up at: vegetables (lots of people), or kale (my kids), eggplant (Eva), tofu (many non-vegetarians), quinoa (crazy people), something.

But what I’ve learned is that tastes can change. In fact, we can change them on purpose:

• I used to hate vegetables. Now I love them.
• I used to hate soymilk when I first tried it. Now I drink it daily.
• I didn’t like brown rice, about 10 years ago. Now I much prefer it to white rice (which has no substance).
• I used to love sweets, but I’ve given them up in the last few months and now I still would eat them but they wouldn’t give me as much pleasure.

And on and on, dozens of times I’ve changed my tastes.

So if taste in a food can be changed, why do people dislike the taste of certain foods? Because they’re not used to them. Once you’re used to a food, it can taste great … but when you’re not used to a food, it’s not so good.

Why do we dislike tastes that we’re not used to? Because we expect good food to be within a certain range of what we already like. Within our comfort zone. This is our expectation, and when food doesn’t meet this expectation, we dislike it. It’s not that food is inherently bad-tasting. For example, many people dislike bitter foods … but I love them. Umeboshi plums? Bitter beer? Dandelion greens? Love ‘em. Food tastes bad because we’re not comfortable with them; they don’t meet our expectations.

But what if we got rid of our expectations? What if we said, “Food doesn’t need to taste like anything. Let’s see what this tastes like.”

I heard tell of a wine expert who wanted to develop his palate, and so he would taste all kinds of things. Even dirt. Put dirt in his mouth, and see what it tastes like. Most people would be grossed out about it, but what if you just wanted to find out?

Be curious. Explore the taste of foods. Let go of expectations and prejudgements. You might find out some interesting things.

And by the way: this works with everything in life, not just food.

Unschoolery: My New Blog on Unschooling

By Leo Babauta

One of my favorite topics to talk about is unschooling. I talk about it with every new parent I know.

And so, because it excites me so much, I’ve started a new blog:

Unschoolery:My Undefinitive Guide to Unschooling

In the last few days, I’ve posted nearly a dozen posts. I have another dozen ready to be written this week.

I love talking about unschooling.

Here are some topics I’ve written about already:

I hope you’ll check out the new blog, and join the conversation!

My Advice for Starting a Business

By Leo Babauta

Recently I encouraged my 13-year-old daughter Maia to start a vegan cupcake business, and it’s so exciting to watch her get started.

As I talked to her about starting, she had some worries:

• She didn’t know how.
• She didn’t know what kind of business to create.
• She was worried she’d fail.

Do any of those sound familiar? Those were my worries too, when I had a day job and thought about building something of my own.

Worry about not knowing what to do, how to do it, and whether you’ll fail … these stop so many people from starting.

I’ve launched numerous ventures, from ebooks to courses to my Sea Change membership program and more. Next week, I’m launching a new video interview series called The Habits of Entrepreneurs, and can barely wait to show it to you.

Today, I’d like to share the lessons I’ve learned about starting a business, in hopes of encouraging you to get started making something you love.

1. Look for opportunities. This is from my friend Hiten Shah, who will be featured in the Habits of Entrepreneurs series. Keep your eyes open for opportunities â€" what pain points do people have, what problems need to be solved, how can you make people’s lives better?
2. If you can’t wait to get started, you’re onto something. Every time I’ve gotten my best ideas, I get excited. I tell people about it. I might even stay up at night thinking about it. I can’t sit down for long from the excitement.
3. Start small. People try to build their new business into a massive launch, but this is a mistake. Start as small as possible, giving a minimum viable product to a few friends, and let them test it out. Then a few more people. When you try to do something massive at launch, you make it less likely that you’ll actually start, and you’ll take forever to launch, and you’ll build yourself up for failure, and you’re building something massive without any idea of whether it works or if people like it. Launch is just one moment in the lifespan of a business, and it’s not even one of the most important moments.
4. Not starting is the biggest mistake. I told Maia that the worst-case scenario â€" if the business fails â€" is not even bad. If she starts the vegan cupcake business and fails, at least she got to make and eat some delicious cupcakes, and share them with friends, and learn some valuable lessons along the way. She can always start something new after that. In fact, this scenario of learning something and having fun along the way, even in “failure”, is demonstrably better than if she’d not started at all.
5. Start a blog. The best way to market a business is by giving away free information. Show that you’re valuable, help people for free, and they’ll want more from you.
6. Don’t do SEO or social media market or viral marketing. Those don’t add any value for your customers.
7. Instead, be super valuable. Build something great, and word of mouth is all the marketing you need (including people passing on your best blog posts). Overdeliver. They’ll love you, and you won’t need to do slimy SEO techniques.
8. Start lean. I started my businesses with zero money, and just found free or cheap services to start with. Only after I started making some revenue did I pay for anything, or hire anyone. Make money as soon as possible by selling something valuable.
9. Advertising is a bad business model. When you make money from ads, what are you selling? Your audience’s attention. This is horrible, and your audience/customers won’t love you for it. Instead, do everything possible to delight your audience/customers, and give them incredible value, and they’ll gladly pay for it.
10. Forget about numbers. More specifically, forget about hitting certain targets. A million pageviews, ten thousand subscribers, half a million in revenues. Those are meaningless and arbitrary. Instead, worry about how much you’re helping your customers. How much value are you giving them? How can you make them smile? Try putting some numbers on those things.
11. The joy doesn’t come later. Lots of times people kill themselves trying to reach a goal, or hit an amazing launch. They hope that achieving this goal will change their lives. Then they get there, and their lives aren’t different. They move on to the next goal. The joy doesn’t come when you hit the goal, or have an amazing launch. The joy comes right now. This is the moment of greatness, of satisfaction with yourself and what you’re doing. Not later.
12. Forget perfection. Too many people get caught up in trying to make a product, website, blog post, launch, etc. perfect. It’ll never be perfect. Perfection is stopping you from shipping. Instead, do what you can, get it out there, get feedback, improve it, repeat.
13. Screw the business plan. Planning, like perfection, is useless and stands in your way. Sure, you want to think things through, but planning is based on faulty information (we can’t know the future). Instead, experiment. Get started. Do. Then see what happens, and adjust. Flexibility is much more important than a good plan.
14. Start from home, and start with friends. You don’t need to have an office for most businesses … even a cupcake business doesn’t need a shop â€" at least not at first. Start with no extra money, in your spare time if you have to. Let your first customers be your friends, and ask them to be brutally honest. Then let them spread the word to their friends. That’s a Zero-Dollar Launch.
15. Focus on important things. Too often people get caught up in statistics, social media, lots of little tasks that don’t matter. Instead, get moving on what matters most â€" producing something that will add value to your customers.
16. Surround yourself with interesting people. Having friends who are doing fascinating things is inspiring, and they will give you great advice and feedback. The people around you, and their positive and inspiring attitudes, matter.
17. Learn to be OK with not knowing. You won’t know what will happen with the business. The world is changing. Your business will change. You will change. You don’t know anything, really, and that’s OK. Read more.

Get started, my friends! You’ll love it.

The Habits of Entrepreneurs

My new video interview series launches Monday:

Why is this series important?

1. Inspiration: these are fascinating entrepreneurs doing amazing things.
2. Habits matter â€" what you do daily creates your business.
3. Building habits is hard â€" seeing how others create habits helps overcome obstacles.

More soon!

Creating Your Habit Environment

By Leo Babauta

Let’s imagine that you’re going to change your diet â€" you’re going from eating chips, ho-hos, Double Down Chicken Sandwiches and taco “meat” in a Dorito shell, to eating fruits and veggies and beans and nuts and whole grains.

Sound easy?

But when you’re stressed and tired from a long day of rebranding meetings and obsessively checking your Facebook, and don’t have much willpower, you’ll reach for the easiest snack, the thing you’re used to and comfortable with.

And when your co-workers or family breaks out the cupcakes or home-made cookies, you can’t resist the temptation, just this once.

Old habits are hard to break for many reasons, but your environment is one of the biggest. Stay in your old environment, and your old habits will be much harder to change. But change your environment, and it’s easy.

Some examples:

• Go to a retreat and eat nothing but the delicious and healthy vegetarian food they make for you â€" that’s easy. Go back home when the retreat is over and you fall back into your old patterns (i.e. stuffing your face with eggo waffles and bacon).
• Hang out with a bunch of runners who invite you on some beautiful runs, and it’s easy to become a regular runner. But hang out with people who like to watch sports on TV all weekend, or play video games, or drink beer at pubs, and you’re less likely to run regularly.
• Hang out with smokers, at places where everyone smokes, and you’re not likely to kick the habit.
• Having junk food all around you at home and in the workplace, and when your willpower isn’t strong, you’ll give in.

There might be some of us who can overcome a more difficult habit environment, but why make it so much harder on yourself?

Change your habit environment to one that’s geared to a successful habit change. Because, you know, life’s too short to keep messing up your habits.

Ways to Change Your Habit Environment

Some examples things you can change that will help you succeed:

• Hang out with people who are doing the habit you want to do.
• If there are people around you who don’t do the habit you want to do (i.e. they’re smokers or put bacon grease in all their food), talk to them about what you’re trying to do, and ask for their help. Ask them to support you, and not rag on you all the time for changing. If they can’t do this, consider dumping them. That’s harsh, but what kind of douchey friends won’t support you?
• Get rid of junk food (or cigarettes, etc.) in your home and office.
• Have only healthy things around you. Prepare them in advance, when you’re not tired.
• Block websites that distract you, if you’re trying to procrastinate less.
• Join a supportive community online who are doing the things you want to do.
• Read blogs and books that inspire you to do the habit.
• Have reminders all around you.
• Develop a mantra, and put it on your computer and phone.
• Ask people around you to remind you.
• Create a public challenge for yourself, to create accountability.
• Have a habit partner you report to each day, and make a vow never to miss.
• Blog about it daily.
• Go for regular runs, walks or hikes with a friend. Meet every day â€" if you’re meeting someone, you’ll make sure to be on time.

The possibilities are endless, but by trying out one or two ideas at a time, you can craft a habit environment that works for you.

If it isn’t working, change your environment again. Keep doing it until the habit sticks.

If you need more accountability, crank it up with a challenge. If you are giving in to temptation, remove the temptation. If you keep forgetting, put up reminders or have someone help you. If you need supportive people, find them and make them a regular part of your life.

There are no excuses, only an environment waiting to be changed.

Travel Lessons with My Family

By Leo Babauta

In the past year or so I’ve traveled more than ever, for both work and family reasons:

• A tour of southern Europe with 5 of our kids and Eva in summer 2012
• NYC (with a vegan tour) with Eva in fall 2012
• Maui with all 6 kids and Eva in January 2013
• Japan, on an awesome train trip and cherry blossom festivals with Tynan and some new friends, in March-April 2013
• NYC with all 6 kids and Eva, again sampling the vegan delights, in June 2013
• Portland & Eugene for the World Domination Summit and to visit family, with Eva and some of the kids, in July 2013
• Los Angeles with all 6 kids and Eva in July 2013

For me, a person who enjoys staying home and enjoying the simple pleasures, it’s been a bit crazy. I don’t normally think of myself as a traveler, but the evidence is against that. I’m a traveler now.

And during it all, I’ve been taking notes. I’d like to share them with you here â€" my lessons learned in the past year or so of traveling.

Traveling Lightly

For me, the traveling lightly philosophy isn’t just in what you pack (though that’s a good part of it), but in how you approach travel.

Here are some lessons learned:

• For most people, a backpack of 24-, 18- or even 16-liters is enough. I’ve traveled with a 16-liter backpack for weeks with no problems. I think we tend to bring more because of fear that we might need more.
• Wash clothes in the sink and hang them overnight. Bam. You just eliminated the need to bring a lot of clothes.
• My packing list: I wear jeans, underwear, a T-shirt, socks and shoes (of course), and then pack 2-3 more underwear, another T-shirt/workout shirt, workout shorts (that I can run and swim in), 2 more pairs of socks, minimalist running shoes (that don’t take up much space), a Macbook Air and iPhone (with Kindle app so I can read books), cords and some toiletries. If it might be cool, a sweater or jacket.
• I wear the same jeans over and over, and just wash them once every week, hanging them up at night to air out.
• Packing lightly means traveling more easily, not having to drag around a roller bag or luggage. Honestly, you don’t realize how much this costs you in energy and happiness until you go without all the weight. Trips become easier, packing and unpacking takes a few minutes, and you aren’t tired or grumpy.
• Traveling lightly also means you don’t plan out as many things to do, but instead just research possibilities. What do you do each day? You look at the possibilities, and explore. You might just walk around and see what there is to see. Don’t worry about a schedule.
• Traveling lightly also means avoiding the tourist traps. Some tourist attractions are genuinely worth seeing (great art and architecture), but otherwise, just see the city and people watch. You avoid the lines, and again you are lighter and happier.
• It also means resting. Built into each day: slowness and rest stops and picnics and lounging in parks and stopping to just be in a place.
• Walk a lot to explore, and try public transit. Also go for a run. These are the best ways to explore a city.
• Finally, let go of expectations. If you’re going to a great city like Rome for the first time, you probably have an idea of what it is like. You’re wrong, and because it won’t match your expectations, you might be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, go in with curiosity, to explore and to really see. You’ll enjoy every trip much more.

The Funnest Stuff

Here are some highlights that I’ve loved:

• In New York City, definitely don’t miss Hack the Museum. My friend Nick recently started these super fun tours of the Met, and I took my whole family, not because I like tours (I usually hate them), but because they make a normal museum experience into an extraordinary one. Highly recommended.
• In Portland, go on a run in Forest Park. Really lovely, miles and miles of trails through a real forest, right within the city limits.
• In Japan, go during Cherry Blossom season, because it’s gorgeous. It gets crowded, but people watching is part of the fun. You also don’t need to go on the exact weekend when they have the festival, because Cherry Blossom viewing (hanami) seems to go on for weeks. Go with a few friends, lay down a blanket or tarp, bring Japanese picnic food and drinks, and have an amazing time.
• In Rome, St. Peter’s Basilica blew me away with its grandeur.
• The Cinque Terre in Italy â€" five towns tumbling down cliffsides into the Mediterranean, linked by a train and walking trails â€" were beautiful and worthwhile.
• Sunbathing on the beaches of Antibes (southern France) was very nice, and I loved the romance of being where Hemingway and Fitzgerald also played around with their hip friends.
• In NYC, we truly love Candle 79, Candle Cafe, Hangawi, Blossom, Dun-well Doughnuts, Babycakes and the Cinnamon Snail. Vegan heaven.
• People watching: Central Park in NYC, beaches at Antibes and Barcelona, Osaka Castle, Ueno Park in Tokyo, Hachiko statue at Shibuya Station in Tokyo, Williamsburg flea market.
• In Japan, you can buy a weeklong train pass and ride the bullet trains everywhere. Tokyo is amazing, but there are other great places, from Osaka to Kyoto and Uji to Miyajima to an organic tea farm outside of the town of Fujieda, that you should definitely see. Bullet trains (shinkasen) are amazing.
• Portland has amazing vegan food! My new friend Ami Baio, a Portland vegan, took me and some friends to some terrific places: Canteen, Portabella Vegan Trattoria, Blossoming Lotus, SweetPea bakery, and the vegan mini-mall! Oh my goodness. All are highly recommended.

Traveling with Kids

Traveling with kids isn’t always easy. But we love traveling with ours. Here’s what we’ve learned:

• Talk to them before the trip about mindset. We explained to them that things will go wrong, we’ll get tired, we’ll walk a lot, we’ll get lost. It’s all an adventure. If they have this adventure mindset, things will go much easier.
• Talk to them about complaining. Again, we’re on an adventure, and complaining isn’t a part of that. Instead, be grateful you’re in this new place, exploring and seeing amazing things.
• Bring sketchbooks. We brought sketchbooks to NYC and would take breaks in the park and draw. Lots of fun!
• Walk a lot at home, for training. Our kids walk a fair amount here in San Francisco, so when we travel and walk a lot to explore, they don’t tire so easily. They still tire, but at least they’re in decent shape.
• Rest. Kids need rest. Build that into the plan each day.
• Gelato â€" they’ll go anywhere if you reward them with gelato!
• Let them help with the planning. If you’re just dragging them to places you want to see, then it’s boring. But if they helped plan out the trip, including a list of places to see, they’ll be more interested.
• Be each other’s tour guides. When we went to MOMA, we each picked an artist, learned about it, and then had to explain the artist to the others, like a tour guide.
• Get an apartment. We used AirBnB to get apartments in each city. It’s more comfortable for a large family, and cheaper than getting several hotel rooms, plus we could get groceries and cook at home for some meals, rather than eating out all the time. Also, there’s often wireless internet and washer/dryer (if you choose well).
• Kids can travel light too. Our kids each brought a small backpack each, one that they could carry (our younger ones had really small backpacks). They’re responsible for their own stuff. We’ve experimented with this on several trips, and it works out well.
• Give the kids responsibilities. They’re not passengers sitting back enjoying the ride â€" they’re helping plan and find their way around public transit and pick restaurants and get us to trains on time, etc. They’re learning to travel, and as adults they’ll be really good at it.

These are just a handful of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve loved every place we’ve visited, and have met some lovely readers in each city, and it’s been excellent. Thank you to everyone we’ve met.

Easier Decision-Making: Conduct Experiments

By Leo Babauta

A surprising amount of our day is filled with decisions: what to do with an email, what to do with clutter, opening paper mail, grocery shopping, whether to go out with friends or stay home, whether to add someone as a friend, whether to take a job, to move, to take a class, to go on a vacation, and so on.

And a good amount of stress can come about from all of those decisions, because many times we don’t have the information we need to make a good decision.

How can we make a choice when we don’t know the outcome of each choice?

If the choices had clear outcomes, we could just weigh them and decide. But most of the time, the outcomes aren’t clear. So how do we decide?

Most of the time, people don’t decide. They put off deciding, which is why inboxes are full and clutter piles up and life choices are postponed and stress grows.

But here’s a simple method that works for me:

See decisions not as final choices, but experiments.

The anxiety (and paralysis) comes when people are worried about making the perfect choice. And worried about making the wrong choice. Those are two outcomes that aren’t necessary to make a decision, because if we conduct an experiment, we’re just trying to see what happens.

With an experiment, you run a test, and see what the results are. If you don’t get good results, you can try another option, and run another test. Then you can see what the outcomes of the choices are (the info you didn’t have when first thinking about the decision), and can make a better-informed decision now.

Some examples:

• Don’t know if you should start your own cupcake business? Try making some and selling them through your network of friends. You can’t fail because it’s an experiment, and after doing it, you’ll know a little more about whether you want to do that business or not.
• Don’t know if you should take ballet class? Go to the class and try it out.
• Don’t know if you should take a certain job? Take it, and see. Worst-case scenario is you don’t like it and will have to find another, but that’s not bad, because now you have that information, when you didn’t before.
• Don’t know if you should blog? Do it and see.
• Don’t know if you can get rid of some of your clutter? Get rid of them and see if you survive.
• Don’t know if you can travel with less? Try and see. You won’t die.

Sometimes experiments come at a cost. A semester of college isn’t cheap, but at the end of the semester, you’ll have valuable info â€" did you like college or not? Moving to a new city isn’t cheap, but it’s also not the end of the world. If you didn’t like it, change course, armed with your new results.

A bigger-picture perspective helps here. Experiments might take months, or a year. That’s a tiny amount of time in the space of a lifetime, and those bigger experiments are worth learning about.

When you’re just conducting experiments, there’s no failure. Any result is learning. If there’s no failure, you don’t have to worry. Let your heart soften, smile, and have fun with your experiments.

The Habits of Entrepreneurs

Speaking of experiments â€" I wanted to let you know about a new project I’m excited to share with you soon. It’s a new video interview series called The Habits of Entrepreneurs.

It’ll be me doing in-person video interviews with fascinating entrepreneurs doing interesting things, about their habits and how they form them.

The lineup of interviews is fantastic, and so far includes:

• Blogger & guru Ramit Sethi
• Jesse Jacobs, founder of Samovar Tea Lounge
• James Freeman, founder of Blue Bottle Coffee
• Megan Casey, founder of Pack (social media for dogs & their owners) and co-founder of Squidoo
• Tony Stubblebine, founder of the Lift habit app
• Joel Gascoigne, founder of Buffer
• Susan O’Connell, president of San Francisco Zen Center
• Mike Del Ponte, founder of Soma
• Hiten Shah, startup mentor & co-founder of KISSmetrics
• Jenn Pattee, founder of Basic Training in San Francisco
• Coming soon: Kevin Rose, Chip Conley and some other great ones

We’re finishing up the editing with the first few videos, and will share them soon! There will be a free short version of each interview, and $2 for the full interview (also a subscription rate at a discount). I can hardly wait.

Simplify: Let Go of Your Crutches

‘Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it is idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits etc.) can do the journey on their own.’ ~C.S. Lewis

By Leo Babauta

I know people who travel with several huge suitcases and carry-ons for a short trip, even if there’s no way they’d use everything, because it makes them feel safer.

Others have a lot of clutter in their homes for the same reason â€" having more stuff makes you feel secure, more prepared, ready for the just-in case.

Many people are super busy, and distracted, because busy-ness and distraction feels productive, and isn’t boring.

Smokers don’t want to quit smoking, because it helps them deal with stress.

What do all these people have in common?

They rely on crutches.

The idea of crutches first occurred to me when I was quitting smoking â€" I realized I thought I needed smoking because it helped me cope with stress, and gave me pleasure. But cigarettes were just a crutch â€" I could deal with stress even without smoking, but I had to learn other methods of stress relief. I could get pleasure without smoking, but I’d have to learn something new.

I’ve learned. I now deal with stress easily without smoking â€" I meditate, drink tea mindfully, run and workout, go for walks, give myself more space in the day, let go of the expectations/ideals that are causing the stress in the first place. I find pleasure in all of these things, and in socializing with good friends, and in a good book, and don’t need to smoke to find pleasure anymore.

I let go of my crutches.

You can’t simplify without letting go of crutches either. Owning or bringing a lot of stuff for security, for example, is a crutch. Being busy so you won’t be bored, or so you’ll feel productive, is a crutch.

You have to find other ways of fulfilling these needs, without the crutches.

Some ways to do that:

• Security. Do you need possessions or big suitcases of stuff for security? What I’ve learned is that the security of possessions is an illusion. You don’t need them. Instead, build a network of backup solutions. Need a tool or a wheelbarrow? Borrow from a neighbor or friend, and form a borrowing network. Need clothes for a certain occasion? Get them at a thrift store, borrow them, or make do with what you have. Having fewer possessions means you buy less, which means you’re better off financially, which means you’re more secure than someone who bought a lot of things.
• Boredom. Do you think you need to be busy or distracted by the Internet to avoid being bored? Fear of boredom hurts many of us. If you learn to be mindful, there’s no fear of boredom, because every moment, in any situation anywhere, contains an infinite amount of wonder, new lessons, unforeseen beauty and surprises. You just need to pay attention. There’s no need for distraction, busy-ness, trying to do all the fun stuff that everyone else is doing.
• Productivity. Does busy-ness mean you’re productive? No, it probably means you’re not good at making choices. To be less busy, you have to decide that some things are more important than others, and say no to the less important, so you’ll have time and energy to focus on the important ones. You can be un-busy, and productive, by giving yourself space to focus on what’s important, the high-impact things that make the most difference in your career and life.
• Stress relief and comfort. What crutches are you using for stress relief? Smoking, alcohol, television, Internet distractions, food, shopping … there are lots of crutches that people believe relieve stress and comfort them. Unfortunately, these things often lead to more stress â€" smoking gives you health problems, shopping leads to debt, television and other distractions lead to inactivity and bad health. Better ways to relieve stress and find comfort (many mentioned already): meditation, mindfully drinking tea, exercise, taking a walk, taking a bath, journaling, talking with a good friend, yoga, doing something creative.
• Love. Lots of people keep sentimental items, like gifts and items that hold memories. Basically, they represent love to us. But we don’t need those items for the love or memories they represent. The love isn’t in the items. They’re in us, and the people we love. Instead, let go of the items and spend some time with the people you love, or spend time journaling or thinking about the good times and the people you’ve loved. You don’t need the items to do that. Better yet, spend your time loving others now, instead of dwelling on the past.

These are just a few examples of letting go of your crutches. I’d recommend taking a good look at why you have so many things, do so many things, take so many things with you, and try to figure out what kind of crutches these are for you. Then figure out better ways to fulfill these needs.

One last thing: many people don’t let go of things because they’re afraid of making the wrong decision. If they can’t be sure of making the exact right decision, they don’t make any decision at all. This results in the piling up of complexity.

A better approach than this (which obviously doesn’t work) is to experiment. You can’t know the result of a decision for sure until you try it. So do little experiments, let go of things, and see if you really needed them. That’s one of the ideas in my Year of Living Without. But you can try smaller experiments, like a week or a day, and see what the results are. It’ll help with the paralysis of making the wrong choice.

Simplifying your life is a worthwhile endeavor. Letting go of your crutches means you discover more about yourself, and realize you didn’t need the crutches in the first place. You are empowered to find new solutions to your needs, and are free to shape your life as you will.

The Fear of Being Found a Fraud

By Leo Babauta

My friend Brian asked me yesterday what my biggest fear might be, and the first fear that came out of my mouth was: “The fear that people will discover I’m a fraud.”

The truth is, this fear isn’t something I think about a lot, but it’s often present in the background of my mind, unnoticed but working its dark magic on me. Lots of fears work this way, and until we say them aloud, they have a power over us. Once we say them out loud, really bring them out in the light of day, and give them some thought, we take away their power.

How might I be found a fraud? Lots of ways:

• Because I blog about habits, and mindfulness, and simplicity and minimalism, people have certain ideas about who I am. This picture in people’s heads isn’t true, of course, because the reality is never the same as the fantasy. What if you find out I’m not what you think I am?
• People might think I’m amazing at forming habits, and while it’s true I’ve found some pretty good success over the years, much of the time I still struggle, and still fail. Habits aren’t just a skill you learn and then all of a sudden, you can flip a switch for any habit you want to create. You have to constantly remotivate yourself, constantly check your urges to quit, constantly analyze what’s working and how to overcome the obstacles that come up. Each habit is different, and yet they’re all the same in this way.
• I put myself forward as a minimalist, but I’m not nearly as extreme a minimalist as others. I’m OK with that, because for me minimalism is a philosophy, not a competition. It’s a check against the urges and consumerist tendencies of our modern consumerist lives. So yes, I might have less than the average person, but I still buy stuff regularly, and I worry people will judge me for that.
• I’m a fairly successful blogger by most standards, and so people might think I have it all figured out. I don’t. I’m still figuring things out. I still have nervousness, with every post, that I’ll be judged and thought stupid. This has gotten less true as I’ve come to know my audience and trust that you’re a very positive, supportive group, but honestly it still happens. For example, someone attacked me on Twitter a couple days ago for my post on a Healthful Vegan Diet. Apparently, I don’t know anything! And I accept this as true.
• I’m a husband and father of six, and I do my best, but while others might see my family life and think I’m an amazing dad and husband, the truth is I don’t always know what I’m doing, I get mad at my kids, I fight with my wife on a regular basis, I fail often. I do my best, but I fall short all the time.

This comes down to one thing: my imagining of the expectations others might have of me, and my fear that I won’t meet those expectations.

And the honest truth is, I won’t meet those expectations.

So here’s what I do.

I realize that I can’t meet the fantasies of others.

I try to be honest, and not just present a façade. This post is an attempt to do that, as was my failure post. If others have a fantasy of me, perhaps I can make that fantasy more like reality.

I try to be myself, which is really the best I can do. If I’m authentic, I can’t be a fraud, because I’m just being who I am. Of course, I’m always trying to figure out who that self is, and the self is constantly changing, so it’s an interesting endeavor.

I realize I’m still learning, am never “perfect”, and will always be learning. That’s all I can hope for.

I ask myself, “What would happen if the fear came true?” And the truth is, even if I were found to be a fraud by everyone I know and many I don’t, I would be OK. My life would go on. I might need to find another job, but I think I’d be OK sweeping floors or chopping vegetables (both activities I enjoy, btw).

I smile, and give thanks that I’ve been given the chance to write, to share, to connect, to help in some small way. That’s an amazing gift, and I won’t let the scared little child in me ruin it with its complaints.

So thank you, my friends. I’m happy to be here.

The Flexible Mind

By Leo Babauta

When I reflect back on how much happier I am these days compared to my life about 8 years ago, I realize it’s not all a result of better habits (though that’s a part of it).

Here’s what I’ve changed that makes me happier:

• Instead of stressing out about meeting goals, deadlines, timelines, I have learned a way of flowing.
• Instead of getting mad at people not meeting my expectations, I’m looser with what I expect of others.
• Instead of getting mad at things not turning out how I’d like, I accept that things are unpredictable, and accept what happens.

Most of the time, that is.

In other words, I’ve developed a flexible mind.

This is one of the best changes I’ve made, because it gives me more peace of mind and happiness. It took some time to develop this mental habit, and I’ll share with you here why and how I did it.

Why Develop Flexible Mind

The root cause of frustration, irritation, anger, sadness is an inflexible mind â€" one that wants to hold onto the way we wish things were, the ideas we’re comfortable with. When things don’t go this way, we are then frustrated, angry, sad.

So developing a flexible mind is a way to be open to anything, happy with change, prepared for any situation. Think about it: if there’s a major disruption in your life, it’s only a bad thing because you’re holding onto the way you wish things could be, what you’re comfortable with. If you let go of that wish, the change isn’t bad. It’s just different, and in fact it could be good if you embrace it and see the opportunity.

It’s about developing the ability to cope with change, to be flexible, to simplify.

How: Small Practices

You don’t develop flexible mind overnight â€" your mind isn’t as easy to change as your outfit. You have to develop mental habits with small changes, consistently over time.

Here’s how:

1. Make a commitment, for one week, to try to let go of what you’re holding onto when you get irritated, frustrated, sad, etc.
2. Make a list of the things that trigger these emotions â€" being interrupted, someone cutting you off in traffic, someone being loud when you’re trying to work, people not washing their dishes, etc.
3. Create reminders for when those triggers happen â€" paper notes, a bead bracelet, something written on your hand, a sign on your car’s dashboard, etc.
4. When the trigger happens, pause. Notice the emotion rising. Feel it, but don’t act. Breathe.
5. Try to see what you’re holding onto â€" wishing the driver would be more polite, wishing you could do what you were doing without interruptions, wishing other people would be perfect in cleaning up after themselves. These wishes are fantasies â€" let them go. Be open to the way things are, to changes that have happened. Breathe, open your heart, accept.
6. Now respond appropriately, without wishing things were different, with compassion.

Repeat however many times you like during the week, or a minimum of once a day.

Please note that you will not be perfect at this when you start. It’s a difficult skill to learn, because we have emotional patterns that have built up over the years. It’s good enough to become more aware of it, and to attempt this method once a day. Be flexible in your desire to get this exactly right. Practice it when you remember for the rest of the year.

Retreat: Flexible Mind, Flexible Heart

In September, I’m holding a retreat with S.F. Zen Center president Susan O’Connell called Flexible Mind, Flexible Heart: How to be Happy at Work.

It’ll be held Sept. 6-9, 2013 at Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, a lovely retreat area near Santa Cruz, California. Tassajara has a meditation hall, hot springs, a river and hiking trails, very simple accommodations and wonderful vegetarian food.

Space is limited, so if you’re interested, sign up here.

Declutter Your Life

By Leo Babauta

There was a time, about 8 years ago, when my life was cluttered. I had too much stuff, and it kept coming in all the time. I had too much to do, and didn’t know how to simplify my schedule.

I was in need of some decluttering, and I knew it.

When I started to change my habits, from smoking to running to being more mindful, simplifying my life was near the top of the list.

The question became, how to go about it? How do you start when you’re facing a mountain of clutter, and another mountain of commitments, and piles of files and mail and email and other digital information?

The answer became clear, as I got started: start simply. Keep it simple as you go. Simple, each step of the way.

That said, I found complications that made things harder at every turn. I’d like to help you with some of those here, briefly, in hopes that you’ll be inspired to start decluttering.

Start Decluttering

How do you get started? As simply as possible:

• Take just 10 minutes today to sort though a pile, or declutter a shelf or table or countertop.
• Put everything into one pile, and start with the first thing you pick up (no putting things back in the pile).
• Ask yourself: do you really need this? Do you use it regularly? Do you love it? If the answer to any of these is no, then recycle, donate, or give it to someone who might want it. Put it in a box for these purposes.
• Put things back that you need/use/love, with space between things. This is their “home” and you should always put them back there.
• Stop after 10 minutes, continue tomorrow for another 10 minutes, and so on, one small spot in your home at a time.
• If you want to do more than 10 minutes, go ahead, but be careful not to overdo it in the beginning or you’ll think it’s difficult and not want to continue.

Keep Going

Once you’ve gotten the ball rolling, here’s how to keep going:

• Keep decluttering in small bits. Pick an area to focus on each week.
• Don’t worry about perfection. Just get it simpler. You can always declutter it more later.
• Put your box of donation/recycling/giving away in your trunk, to get rid of next time you’re out. Email friends/family to ask if they want things â€" often you can find a good home for perfectly good things you don’t really use (that workout equipment).
• If you’re on the fence, use a Maybe Box (put things that you think you might need in a box, mark it with today’s date, put a reminder on your calendar 6 months from now to check on the Maybe Box. If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you probably don’t need it and can get rid of it.
• Get help. Sometimes you just can’t bear to part with yourself, but if you can get an outside person to make the decision (friend or family member), they are usually much more dispassionate and ruthless.
• Enjoy the space. Once you’ve decluttered an area, really focus on how much you love the simplified space. Once you’re hooked on this simplicity, you’re more likely to keep going.

Decluttering Your Calendar & Digital Life

Physical decluttering is only one type of decluttering. You can also simplify your day, and your online/computer life as well.

A few simple tips:

• Decluttering your day is about reducing commitments, and saying no to the non-essential things. So first make a list of your commitments.
• Make a list of what’s most important to you (4-5 things) and declutter the rest. Say no to people with a phone call or email, and get out of existing commitments.
• Be very ruthless about saying no to new commitments â€" and seeing requests as potential commitments. Guard your time.
• Declutter your digital life one step at a time, just like your physical life. Email newsletters, blogs, social networks, online reading and watching, forums, etc. â€" are they essential? Can you declutter them?

Dealing With Others

Having other people in your life (home or workspace) can make simplifying more complicated. I have a wife and six kids, so I know how it is.

Some tips:

• Talk to them about it early on, when you’re just thinking about it (show them this article). Don’t force a decision on anyone, but involve them in the decision-making process.
• Focus on the benefits, the why, rather than what they need to do and why what they’re doing is wrong. People don’t like to be wrong, but they do like benefits.
• Lead by example. Show how you can declutter your space, and how much nicer it is, and how much easier it is to find things, to clean, to be at peace during your day.
• If there’s resistance, focus on decluttering your space. Don’t get frustrated with them, because that makes it more difficult. Instead, remember that you were a clutter-holic not long ago, so empathize.
• Don’t shy away from an opportunity to discuss simplifying, and why you’re doing it, in a positive way. Criticizing doesn’t help, nor does acting superior. Inspiring helps tremendously.

Help With the Decluttering Habit

This is just a start, to show you that there’s a path. Along the way, you’ll learn much more, about clutter and simplicity and yourself.

If you’d like help with the decluttering habit, join my Sea Change Program ($10/month), where we’ll be spending the month of August focused on Decluttering Your Life.

Sea Change Program: Declutter Your Life

Each month, we focus on a new topic, and I provide a plan, articles, a webinar, a forum, and the chance to form accountability teams. Creating a habit with others is a ton of fun.